Burger Wars

FrankAboutFood.com

The Hamburger Wars…99 Cents to 50 Dollars

Current Icons of American Culture?

Perhaps more than ever over the last few years, we have been told that “We are what we eat and the way we eat”. If that is true and there are both scientific and sociological reasons to accept the validity of that proverb, our current food tendencies get scarier every day.

For the past 30 years, the onslaught of fast food television advertising has conditioned our society to choose food mediocrity in return for simulated convenience, speed and bargain (?) pricing. Even more insidious is the fact that many of us have trained our children that 99 cents McDonalds, Burger King or Jack in the Box price war hamburgers plus French fries are something worth consistently putting into their bodies. Of course we now know that it is really creating an obese society.

Sadly, therefore, many of our impressionable youngsters actually believe that these thin slabs of fat loaded cardboard like ground meat that they get along with a worthless plastic toy are something to seek. More sadly, they carry these habits for the rest of their lives.

How many of them will ever understand (or appreciate) the flavor memories that most of us have of biting into a thick truly juicy hamburger; with a thin slice of Spanish or Bermuda onion to kick it up a notch? Unless you live near an In’nOut Burger, they may be doomed.

Or if they are slightly older males, they may now think that ingesting a Carl’s Jr. Chile cheeseburger in a disgusting manner is a sign of masculinity that will attract the ladies. They and those always pubescent feminine targets are already conditioned to the fact that putting their fingers around the symbolic throat of any bottle of beer is a sure-fire way to an indiscriminate make out. Messily eating that burger while drinking any beer out of a bottle thus will leave most of our youth in a constant state of exhaustion.

Sultry eye to eye contact with that long thin glass container in hand has replaced exploratory intelligent conversation and essentially destroyed the art of sophisticated seduction. It’s now just like fast food.

	At the other end of the spectrum we now find that many trendy eateries pursue supposed social awareness by offering their version of the humble hamburger (usually at lunch), but at increasingly remarkable high prices. Perhaps it will appear that if you can offer an expensive version, then the rest of the menu is a good value. That $6.95 burger that Karl’s claims to emulate while sensuously “Getting it all over your face” was quickly trampled. $10-16 versions have become de riguer in many local upscale Westside food purveyors. Sometimes they may include the fries or an unobtrusive green salad. But that was just the beginning.
.Hamburgers have now become gourmet items comparable to venison or pheasant under glass. The Old Homestead, a Wall Street district restaurant in New York recently placed a *$41* version on its lunch and takeout menu. Don’t laugh.
On the first day Old Homestead delivered 140 takeouts to the offices of Merrill Lynch, Lehman, Prudential etc. in about 2 hours. That’s $5740 worth of burgers. Those experts on Wall Street that have given us the worst market in 50 years figured that laying out that much for a burger was as sexy as getting it all over their face. They apparently followed their own advice for the first time by paying 8 times value for the gourmet version of cooked books. How come all those guys were left with fortunes while the rest of us are broke.	New York's $50 Truffle Hamburger
Old Homestead’s menu however stated that this upgrade of a lowly burger had 20 oz of daily massaged and highly seasoned Kobe beef inside that bun.One wonders what the “trained for a lifetime” Japanese herdsmen thought when this wonderfully textured and marbled meat designed to be carefully sliced and served medium rare, was ground up into a well done fat patty. Maybe those brilliant “Street” guys that gave us Enron, Worldcom and Adelphia thought Kobe beef was an inside trader IPO.
Or burgers were on the computerized momentum charts. Because shortly after, Daniel Boulud, formerly a highly respected New York chef, but now merely a publicity seeking upper Eastside celebrity restaurateur, became incensed. He thought he had topped out last July with his $29 deluxe patty. He immediately added $22 per oz. (wholesale) black truffles and raised the price to $50. Nuff said. Of course we all know that the best hamburger in the world can be had for under $3 at home if we have a 2-burner or 3- burner gas BBQ. Just follow these instructions, remembering what world class chef Mario Batali proffers about all cooking: Buy the best and freshest ingredients you can find an do the least that you can to them. Buy first quality beef of your choice with enough fat for flavor but not enough to clog the arteries. Have it freshly ground if possible. Form, it into ¾ “ or 1” patties to fit the bun using your favorite recipe. I add only garlic salt and pepper to choice.
For a ¾” patty sear it on the first side for 3 minutes over the low flame at HLH for a 3-burner or slightly longer at HL for a 2-burner. For 3-burners, turn and cook at MOM. 5 minutes for rare, 8 minutes for medium and 10 minutes for well done. Cook slightly longer on a 2-burner at MO. For a 1” patty cook as above. But sear for 5 minutes, turn and cook 8 minutes for rare, 10 minutes for medium, 12 minutes for well done. Times will vary slightly depending upon your BBQ. Occasionally check one patty. Add a thin or medium slice of onion, fresh lettuce and tomato plus rough grained true Dijon mustard and add some small red potatoes. Sit down with 4 friends and let them know that they are having a $300 Eastside New York meal that cost you $20. Serve Two Buck Chuck wine or cold beer for another $4-6. Show them this article if they doubt you.